BOOM! THREE HUNDRED WORDS OF MY DISSERTATION LEFT TO WRITE
so, i just got accepted to do an MA in Creative Writing at uni following my degree, super super excited. feel like a grown up writer…almost. the thought of being a post-grad student also scares the hell out of me though. i have wanted to do this for so long, and it is finally happening - never thought i would actually get onto the course, still feel like a writing novice! the thought of writing over 40,000 words next year and getting published makes me get butterflies in my tummy, but i am so excited.
i have done 8000 words of my dissertation, woohoooo. only slight issue is that i am meant to do another 4000 word chapter plus a 1500 word conclusion so will kinda run out of words, but I DONT CARE. i am so happy to have it kind of coming together at long last. only four weeks left to write another chapter (and read all the books for that chapter) and a conclusion and get it bound and submitted - cannot believe the end is in sight!
i am taking one whole afternoon off of uni work, no dissertation, no essays, no writing, no nothing. i may well regret it later but for now i am going to lay on my bed with a cup of tea and a packet of hobnobs and catch up on rubbish tv. sounds pretty perfect to me.
my dissertation
i feel like i live in the library at the moment, i am literally here every second that i am not at work or in lectures. it is my new home. i am determined to get this dissertation finished as soon as possible as i cannot cope with the stress any longer. if anyone ever says the words ‘Victorian’, ‘madness’, ‘fin de siecle’, ‘the yellow wallpaper’ or ‘the woman who did’ to me again, i may well stab them with my pen.
fifty two days and it will be done and bound and handed in. lets hope i dont have a breakdown before then, please…
SIX MONTHS
that’s half a year, 24 weeks, 168 days 4,032 hours, 241,920 minutes 14,515,200 seconds not that I am counting…
you said those exact words to me the day that you were told you wouldn’t get better, now it is my turn to say them to you. It has been six months today since you have been gone, and honestly I miss you so much sometimes that I forget to breathe. Charlotte and I sat last night talking about the night before you died. It was a Saturday evening and we had gone out, every time you text me you asked if I was having fun, over and over again you were checking I was okay. You didn’t tell me that the doctor had said you only had twelve hours left, apparently you just wanted us to be happy for the evening. You were so selfless, it blows me away even now. I want to say thank you for everything, I owe you so much and I feel I am the luckiest girl in the entire world to have been able to call you my friend. If you were here now you would have a few choice jokes for me, so much has changed over the last few months and I just wish you were here to share it with. I miss you and I love you forever and beyond.
sitting in on a friday night to write an essay on Charlotte Bronte’s Villette, really is the worst thing. i actually quite liked the book when i read it, completely not what i expected after reading and loving Jane Eyre, but i did. Villette, i feel, is a braver Jane Eyre, not so afraid to break away from the norms and ideals of early Victorian women’s writing. it seems more eager to embrace the fragmentation of the 1860’s. all of this said, it is a bitch of a book to write a short essay on!
